Bonding with an adopted child is a journey that requires love, patience, affection and should not be rushed.
The decision to become adoptive parents is often a difficult one. Numerous adoptive parents are often concerned about how they can bond with their new child after the adoption process is complete. It is absolutely normal and expected of new parents of adopted children to wonder how well the new member will fit into their family or if they will be accepted by the child as a good parent.
Do not rush the bonding process.
The bonding process with your adopted child must not be rushed. The bonding time largely depends on the child’s age. Infants lesser than six months old may fuss more than you anticipated because they have not yet come into their personalities. Do not get disheartened and keep pushing forward.
Only the parents should meet all basic needs.
Parents need to be the only ones changing, feeding, or giving comfort and affection for the first three months at least. Biological babies learn who their parents are, and their family constantly meet their needs. Similarly, your adopted child will learn in the same manner.
Sleeping in the same room as your child can make it easier for you to offer the attention and love they want and need. The ability to offer quick comfort and reassurance when they are unwell or are crying can reinforce that you will always be there for them. It will further help develop the parenting instincts that usually come with being a biological parent.
Eye contact is key
Just as communication, eye contact is another way of promoting a bond with your adopted child. You can establish eye contact in several ways – at the time of feeding, playing a game of peek-a-boo, and making funny faces. Babies are fond of such interactions, and it can be rewarding for both of you.
Talk about adoption
Some adoptive parents believe the best way to bond is to pretend that the child was always a part of the family, but acknowledging the child’s pre-adoptive experiences demonstrates honesty and empathy; it is crucial for establishing a firm connection. You can tell your child a bedtime story using them and your adoption journey as the plot. You can briefly touch on their life before adoption and acknowledge their hardships.
Follow the tips above to bond with your newly adopted child to become the family you wish for.