Mastering the art of parenting is difficult, but gets easier with these tips
Have you ever seen kids throwing tantrums and their parents with hopeless expressions in public and wondered what went wrong? Or, maybe you are the parent in this case with a child beyond the toddler age group? No matter the time or place, parenting is really difficult. Conflict among parents and kids grow as the kids age with time and reaches optimal level during the teen years. Parents from different cultures have tried their hands at managing and overcoming such conflicts but mostly with negative feedback and retaliation. This form of retaliation mostly gives rise to growing conflict without serving any actual purpose. Here are a few ways to understand how you may be pushing your kids away without realizing it.
Our species, just like any other animal, is constantly going through changes, no matter how small. Have you noticed how kids these days seem extremely fast at picking up emotions, learning new skills or even getting accustomed to using a device at a faster pace than you? These are not just some ordinary changes. The old methods run out of course over time and we as a society move on towards progress. Similarly, if you compare parenting tactics to how your parents or your grandparents did it during their time, it would be a reckless idea. Instead try to understand that kids these days have different struggles, different needs than your generation or the ones before you.
Do you remember the time when your parents used to constantly criticize your every move? Very often parents have this dogmatic understanding about how to carry out a task. You need to understand that as humans we all have very different learning styles. In most cases, there are multiple ways to accomplish a task. If you are used to completing a chore, or any other task in a certain way, it is not necessary that is the way someone else might also find it to be the best way to accomplish that task. In most cases, parents do not criticize teaching kids ways to carry out tasks but instead, order them to do it their way. This is a very common conflict. Even if your kid fails at a certain task, tell them what went wrong, and ask them to re-do it. Unless you give them the critical thinking space to learn, you are just trying to clone your understanding and behaviour in your child.
Forcing your friendship on your kid is an extremely wrong move that parents often forget. When your kid is around the age of 7 or 8 they start making strong bonds with people in their periphery outside the family circle. It is not easy to penetrate that and protect your kid. In such cases, when you try to act as their friend to extract information or know details about what’s going on in their life, it is a standard practice for them to get defensive towards you. Understand that as a parent you are capable of providing a safe environment to your kids without forcing your friendship on them. Accomplish this easily by practicing a healthy conversation with them from time to time, so that they feel comfortable enough to come to you, without the fear of being judged or punished.
Being a parent was never an easy task, but if you are one, or planning on becoming one, these are some conflict points you need to re-visit for healthy relations with your child.
